ADDICTION

Thank god it's the weekend!!! I know I've only got another day off then it's back to work as normal but it has been a challenging week for me.

A bit of a downer really, maybe it was due to the time of the month, maybe it was due to the dull grey manky weather, maybe it was due to to the fact I will be turning the big '40' soon (not this year!!!), maybe due to the fact I've not been able to go anywhere as I've used up all my leave, maybe its Chinese New Year coming up and I miss my family and friends back home and also the ones living at other parts of the world, maybe I miss all my little bundles of joy that is scattered all over the world and I don't get to chase them around the house, tickle and gomoi them and tease them as much as I like to,maybe, maybe, maybe... there's a lot of maybes... too many to put on...

And my brain is not helping either.... It's been speeding up and has been all over the place... All I asked for in the beginning of the week was for it to work when I need it this week to get my assignment done, and since then, it has been overflowing with ideas, thoughts, etc etc at full speed even when I have been trying to sleep, so I put the blame on my brain....and also thanked it as I've completed the required assignment and e-mailed it through for checking over, so now all I ask is 'Brain, can you please slow down, please... I really can't process all the emotional stuff that you have been dumping on me! '

I've been fully booked this week, which I have been thankful for..... It has helped to calm me down and relax me at the end of the evening after work.... Because I took 2 weeks off over Christmas and New Year, I have missed it so much...

So , my thoughts are... Am I addicted to doing this? What has happened to- I'll just do it as a hobby? It has spiralled and has kept growing... I am not complaining of course, I am grateful for it but the 2 weeks I took some rest time, my hands were slightly twitchy, I felt unsettled and as though something was missing.....

Was it the knitting??? As I've not done it for a few months? So I picked up the knitting needles on an unfinished project but it didn't feel right.
So I turned to the crochet on another ongoing project and it still didn't feel right.....Hmmm.... it can't be this as I've been crocheting everyday during lunch time at work!!!
Was it the cooking? As I've not done much cooking in the past few weeks.So , I started cooking a bit more and thought ' nearly there but still something missing'. May I remind you that I have to eat my cooking so now I might have pile some pounds on. Great, now I have to think of ways to lose it!

Then when I started with my first client post holiday and just felt a sense of calm course through me and I thought 'This is it, this is what's been missing!!!!' aaaahhhhh........with that,  the biggest sigh ever and the heavy weight fell off my shoulder...

So, now I have addiction to (calculating with my fingers) :
1) Massage
2) Crochet
3) Knitting
4) Cooking
5) Work
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I've also been feeling restless lately.... itchy feet not been anywhere as I've not got anymore leave till after April this year. But I haven't been bored, I've been very busy or rather kept myself very busy... done course after course, knitted a few stuff and went to a few knitting and crochet workshop. Crocheting as well.... All my days are pretty full from the time I get up till I got to sleep at night... I am simply feeling exhausted. I could sleep for England but sadly since I started a 9-5 job, my sleeping cycle has changed. Although I am still not a morning person but my brain ' pings awake' at 8am'. i get palpitations thinking I am late for work on weekends!!! So, therefore, I try and book clients in to get my fix for the day...

I was on a bit of a high today after 2 clients so I popped out to get my beloved candles as I ran out of my favourite ones. The best candle and it's made in derbyshire.... Please have a look at this lady's website and buy from her... might be a bit pricier compared to Ikea's but I'll let you know her candles are absolutely quality stuff... I am addicted to her candles...ADDICTED especially to the ti-tree, chamomile and lavender or the hot toddy ones.... Her candles only burn inwards.. only candle lovers will know what I am talking about. Please have a look at her website for her bespoke candles:

www.onawick.co.uk

This is what I got today

See, the red one, I've been burning it nearly every day for the past 2 months and it's only half way used.

So, now I am off to do some ironing as I've got a biggest pile ever after ignoring it for the past 3 weeks. Luckily for me I do find ironing therapeutic so with my candle burning away merrily, my soothing music playing in the background, I can finally enjoy whatever short time I have left before going back to work on Monday.

Thanks to all of you who chatted to me last night to cheer me up and made me psml and cry. I am so lucky, I feel so loved. And btw, I don't think the cruise ship is going to happen I will miss my boys too much but the hunk has said if I wanted to go, then he can't stop me, so the option is still there. At least he didn't try to frighten me like my dad used to say if anything happens to the ship when we are sailing, then I will die at sea!!! Roll on May 2nd for my sailing trip which I am very much looking forward to as not only my hunk will be there, my boyfriend Eddie will be joining us this year too.....