It has been a busy few weeks for me.
My emotions has been like yo-yo, I feel like a manic depressive person.
It's made me think that I am going through menopause and my hormones are all over the place. I've even thought about having a coil put in coz I just can't take it anymore- all the changes within me.
Blimey, when I suggested having a coil, there was a resounding 'NO' from the man. He still thinks that I am sweet, laid back and kind??!!! Even after suffering through all my grumbling, shouting, complaining, etc etc...
Then again, I am stressed with my coursework, hence not sleeping well. There is so much writing up to do, and now I have to think about the exams as well. They just keep adding stuff onto us and I spend a lot of my time off work thinking, rectifying my essays and doing all the rest of writing up/typing up for my portfolio... Will it ever end?
But then as I get older, I think I do tend to strife for more perfection in my work but there is nothing wrong with that, isn't it?
The only person I feel sorry for is my Hunk... I haven't been looking after him as well as I previously did, I just do the basics now with food and cleaning. I tend to leave him watching the tv or painting his figures and creep upstairs and sit in front of the computer engrossed with my work.Even with the neglect, he has agreed for a cleaner to come and help do some cleaning to relieve some of my burden.
The only relaxation I get is when I steal a few moments for myself during lunchtime.. a bit of crocheting- this would be for my sister's birthday present which well past now and some more at home 20 minutes at a time in the evening whilst either listening to some inspirational music (either Don Moen or from the collection of Buddhist Music I have). I was brought up a Buddhist, but went to Cathetism classes when I was younger and then got Baptist in my 20's in a Methodist Church.
I digress.... What I want to say is that despite my emotional roller coaster, stress with my course work and whatever other stressors that I have on a daily basis, I do have a lot to be thankful for. I have a wonderful eccentric family, wonderful friends back home, my ever wonderful Hunk and his family looking after me. I am thankful to still have a job and still enjoying it after a year on...even though it's only a nearly full time employment. And most of all I have sat down today, closed my eyes for a few minutes rest and thought... I am healthy, wealthy in love and happy most of the time. The little monkeys are growing well back home and in America. There isn't any material things that I need at this point in my life. What more do I want and wish for?There are changes in my life from now onwards and I am determined to make them work. The next few years will bit a bit tough but I've got encouragement from my nearest and dearest friends, I have got determination and I must say although I have indulged in a bit of laziness in the past, I am still hardworking person overall....
This weekend, I've decided it's me time for a change....I've a small pile of ironing, a bit of mending to do and then on Sunday.. I am off for a treat- a knitting workshop that the Hunk has fully paid for (one of my christmas present) and I will definitely try my hardest not to get up before 8am...
My only downfall at this time of the year is that I yearn to 'balik kampung' and join in the festivities but I've had some stuff sent by my kind friends to pull me through- I hope I won't get fat from the kuih parcels but I will be cooking a lot of curry with the curry mixes I've received. I can also make lor bak!!!
So Thank you all, you know who you are...I really love your guys a lot.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Saturday, 15 January 2011
ADDICTION
Thank god it's the weekend!!! I know I've only got another day off then it's back to work as normal but it has been a challenging week for me.
A bit of a downer really, maybe it was due to the time of the month, maybe it was due to the dull grey manky weather, maybe it was due to to the fact I will be turning the big '40' soon (not this year!!!), maybe due to the fact I've not been able to go anywhere as I've used up all my leave, maybe its Chinese New Year coming up and I miss my family and friends back home and also the ones living at other parts of the world, maybe I miss all my little bundles of joy that is scattered all over the world and I don't get to chase them around the house, tickle and gomoi them and tease them as much as I like to,maybe, maybe, maybe... there's a lot of maybes... too many to put on...
And my brain is not helping either.... It's been speeding up and has been all over the place... All I asked for in the beginning of the week was for it to work when I need it this week to get my assignment done, and since then, it has been overflowing with ideas, thoughts, etc etc at full speed even when I have been trying to sleep, so I put the blame on my brain....and also thanked it as I've completed the required assignment and e-mailed it through for checking over, so now all I ask is 'Brain, can you please slow down, please... I really can't process all the emotional stuff that you have been dumping on me! '
I've been fully booked this week, which I have been thankful for..... It has helped to calm me down and relax me at the end of the evening after work.... Because I took 2 weeks off over Christmas and New Year, I have missed it so much...
So , my thoughts are... Am I addicted to doing this? What has happened to- I'll just do it as a hobby? It has spiralled and has kept growing... I am not complaining of course, I am grateful for it but the 2 weeks I took some rest time, my hands were slightly twitchy, I felt unsettled and as though something was missing.....
Was it the knitting??? As I've not done it for a few months? So I picked up the knitting needles on an unfinished project but it didn't feel right.
So I turned to the crochet on another ongoing project and it still didn't feel right.....Hmmm.... it can't be this as I've been crocheting everyday during lunch time at work!!!
Was it the cooking? As I've not done much cooking in the past few weeks.So , I started cooking a bit more and thought ' nearly there but still something missing'. May I remind you that I have to eat my cooking so now I might have pile some pounds on. Great, now I have to think of ways to lose it!
Then when I started with my first client post holiday and just felt a sense of calm course through me and I thought 'This is it, this is what's been missing!!!!' aaaahhhhh........with that, the biggest sigh ever and the heavy weight fell off my shoulder...
So, now I have addiction to (calculating with my fingers) :
1) Massage
2) Crochet
3) Knitting
4) Cooking
5) Work
.
.
.
.
.
I've also been feeling restless lately.... itchy feet not been anywhere as I've not got anymore leave till after April this year. But I haven't been bored, I've been very busy or rather kept myself very busy... done course after course, knitted a few stuff and went to a few knitting and crochet workshop. Crocheting as well.... All my days are pretty full from the time I get up till I got to sleep at night... I am simply feeling exhausted. I could sleep for England but sadly since I started a 9-5 job, my sleeping cycle has changed. Although I am still not a morning person but my brain ' pings awake' at 8am'. i get palpitations thinking I am late for work on weekends!!! So, therefore, I try and book clients in to get my fix for the day...
I was on a bit of a high today after 2 clients so I popped out to get my beloved candles as I ran out of my favourite ones. The best candle and it's made in derbyshire.... Please have a look at this lady's website and buy from her... might be a bit pricier compared to Ikea's but I'll let you know her candles are absolutely quality stuff... I am addicted to her candles...ADDICTED especially to the ti-tree, chamomile and lavender or the hot toddy ones.... Her candles only burn inwards.. only candle lovers will know what I am talking about. Please have a look at her website for her bespoke candles:
www.onawick.co.uk
A bit of a downer really, maybe it was due to the time of the month, maybe it was due to the dull grey manky weather, maybe it was due to to the fact I will be turning the big '40' soon (not this year!!!), maybe due to the fact I've not been able to go anywhere as I've used up all my leave, maybe its Chinese New Year coming up and I miss my family and friends back home and also the ones living at other parts of the world, maybe I miss all my little bundles of joy that is scattered all over the world and I don't get to chase them around the house, tickle and gomoi them and tease them as much as I like to,maybe, maybe, maybe... there's a lot of maybes... too many to put on...
And my brain is not helping either.... It's been speeding up and has been all over the place... All I asked for in the beginning of the week was for it to work when I need it this week to get my assignment done, and since then, it has been overflowing with ideas, thoughts, etc etc at full speed even when I have been trying to sleep, so I put the blame on my brain....and also thanked it as I've completed the required assignment and e-mailed it through for checking over, so now all I ask is 'Brain, can you please slow down, please... I really can't process all the emotional stuff that you have been dumping on me! '
I've been fully booked this week, which I have been thankful for..... It has helped to calm me down and relax me at the end of the evening after work.... Because I took 2 weeks off over Christmas and New Year, I have missed it so much...
So , my thoughts are... Am I addicted to doing this? What has happened to- I'll just do it as a hobby? It has spiralled and has kept growing... I am not complaining of course, I am grateful for it but the 2 weeks I took some rest time, my hands were slightly twitchy, I felt unsettled and as though something was missing.....
Was it the knitting??? As I've not done it for a few months? So I picked up the knitting needles on an unfinished project but it didn't feel right.
So I turned to the crochet on another ongoing project and it still didn't feel right.....Hmmm.... it can't be this as I've been crocheting everyday during lunch time at work!!!
Was it the cooking? As I've not done much cooking in the past few weeks.So , I started cooking a bit more and thought ' nearly there but still something missing'. May I remind you that I have to eat my cooking so now I might have pile some pounds on. Great, now I have to think of ways to lose it!
Then when I started with my first client post holiday and just felt a sense of calm course through me and I thought 'This is it, this is what's been missing!!!!' aaaahhhhh........with that, the biggest sigh ever and the heavy weight fell off my shoulder...
So, now I have addiction to (calculating with my fingers) :
1) Massage
2) Crochet
3) Knitting
4) Cooking
5) Work
.
.
.
.
.
I've also been feeling restless lately.... itchy feet not been anywhere as I've not got anymore leave till after April this year. But I haven't been bored, I've been very busy or rather kept myself very busy... done course after course, knitted a few stuff and went to a few knitting and crochet workshop. Crocheting as well.... All my days are pretty full from the time I get up till I got to sleep at night... I am simply feeling exhausted. I could sleep for England but sadly since I started a 9-5 job, my sleeping cycle has changed. Although I am still not a morning person but my brain ' pings awake' at 8am'. i get palpitations thinking I am late for work on weekends!!! So, therefore, I try and book clients in to get my fix for the day...
I was on a bit of a high today after 2 clients so I popped out to get my beloved candles as I ran out of my favourite ones. The best candle and it's made in derbyshire.... Please have a look at this lady's website and buy from her... might be a bit pricier compared to Ikea's but I'll let you know her candles are absolutely quality stuff... I am addicted to her candles...ADDICTED especially to the ti-tree, chamomile and lavender or the hot toddy ones.... Her candles only burn inwards.. only candle lovers will know what I am talking about. Please have a look at her website for her bespoke candles:
www.onawick.co.uk
This is what I got today
See, the red one, I've been burning it nearly every day for the past 2 months and it's only half way used.
So, now I am off to do some ironing as I've got a biggest pile ever after ignoring it for the past 3 weeks. Luckily for me I do find ironing therapeutic so with my candle burning away merrily, my soothing music playing in the background, I can finally enjoy whatever short time I have left before going back to work on Monday.
Thanks to all of you who chatted to me last night to cheer me up and made me psml and cry. I am so lucky, I feel so loved. And btw, I don't think the cruise ship is going to happen I will miss my boys too much but the hunk has said if I wanted to go, then he can't stop me, so the option is still there. At least he didn't try to frighten me like my dad used to say if anything happens to the ship when we are sailing, then I will die at sea!!! Roll on May 2nd for my sailing trip which I am very much looking forward to as not only my hunk will be there, my boyfriend Eddie will be joining us this year too.....
Sunday, 9 January 2011
What a day!!!
Thank god... hallelujah.. (clap, clap!- pai thee kong at the same time). I've finally completed my event hours for the course.
I set my alarm to wake me up at 630am but I finally dragged myself out of bed at 715am- had a mad dash, and rushed to Edwinstowe to do the event massage for all the participants doing the 10K run... The lady organiser was really nice and for a change the 3 of us had shelter. We didn't have to stand out in the open air, in the freesing cold.... We went prepared with layers on and wh had to take them off one by one as we got too warm. It was 12 noon when I declared enough is enough and packed to go home. I was a bit hypo by then, felt a bit woozy after a small breakfast of bagel and coffee and doing so many massages...
I got home to find a very dear friend and guess what? I am so sorry Simon if I was a bit mardy- i am always mardy anyway especially when I am hungry... I completely ignored Simon, and went for food! Well, on reflection I think he should feel flattered that I am so comfortable with him that i ignored him. I gave him a big hug in the end and packed load of food for him because you see, Simon- like me is a foodie.... He gets mardy if I don't feed him...Anyhow, we sort of had a mix and match food. I had my fried bee hoon, with fried anchovies and freshly chopped garlic soaked in sweet soy sauce, whilst the men had rice, chicken curry, ostrich burger and thegarlic dip I made. I felt so much better but was abdolutely knackered. After Simon left, I had an afternoon nap...
Now, it's been ages since I had an afternoon nap... since all my weekends are mostly taken up by courses, housework, food shopping and all the mundane things one does during her off days... I didn't want to wake up at all and come 6pm I finally dragged myself out of bed because :
1) I was hungry again
2) I have stacks of ironing to do
3) I have my course write up to do and a lot more other paperwork
4) If I don't get up then , I will wake up with a stinking headache in the morning
and I woke up in a very FOUL mood, stomped downstairs, did a bit of nagging, grumbling, etc etc then had another bagel and coffee and stomped upstairs and started with the ironing. Now that I've done all the uniforms I do feel a bit better, next are all the daily clothes and the big ones- bed sheets, duvet covers etc- now they can be done slowly....
I felt bit bored so I've been on FB for a little while and so, I thought I'll do this entry and then maybe I can indulge in a bit crocheting in bed before I have an early night.
So, that's it for today... What boring life I lead....
I set my alarm to wake me up at 630am but I finally dragged myself out of bed at 715am- had a mad dash, and rushed to Edwinstowe to do the event massage for all the participants doing the 10K run... The lady organiser was really nice and for a change the 3 of us had shelter. We didn't have to stand out in the open air, in the freesing cold.... We went prepared with layers on and wh had to take them off one by one as we got too warm. It was 12 noon when I declared enough is enough and packed to go home. I was a bit hypo by then, felt a bit woozy after a small breakfast of bagel and coffee and doing so many massages...
I got home to find a very dear friend and guess what? I am so sorry Simon if I was a bit mardy- i am always mardy anyway especially when I am hungry... I completely ignored Simon, and went for food! Well, on reflection I think he should feel flattered that I am so comfortable with him that i ignored him. I gave him a big hug in the end and packed load of food for him because you see, Simon- like me is a foodie.... He gets mardy if I don't feed him...Anyhow, we sort of had a mix and match food. I had my fried bee hoon, with fried anchovies and freshly chopped garlic soaked in sweet soy sauce, whilst the men had rice, chicken curry, ostrich burger and thegarlic dip I made. I felt so much better but was abdolutely knackered. After Simon left, I had an afternoon nap...
Now, it's been ages since I had an afternoon nap... since all my weekends are mostly taken up by courses, housework, food shopping and all the mundane things one does during her off days... I didn't want to wake up at all and come 6pm I finally dragged myself out of bed because :
1) I was hungry again
2) I have stacks of ironing to do
3) I have my course write up to do and a lot more other paperwork
4) If I don't get up then , I will wake up with a stinking headache in the morning
and I woke up in a very FOUL mood, stomped downstairs, did a bit of nagging, grumbling, etc etc then had another bagel and coffee and stomped upstairs and started with the ironing. Now that I've done all the uniforms I do feel a bit better, next are all the daily clothes and the big ones- bed sheets, duvet covers etc- now they can be done slowly....
I felt bit bored so I've been on FB for a little while and so, I thought I'll do this entry and then maybe I can indulge in a bit crocheting in bed before I have an early night.
So, that's it for today... What boring life I lead....
Saturday, 8 January 2011
New Year, new try in blogging
So we are now on the 8th day of January 2011. I really don't know why I am doing this as I never followed on with my initial blog last year.
I am getting a bit bored in the land of facebook now but I am still keeping it on as it's a good way for me to keep in touch with my family and friends back in Malaysia.
Maybe when I started with the blog last year, the 'hunk' tried to correct my grammar and said he was only trying to help and that really put me off. I merely gave him a disgusted look a few times and commented that my grammar may not be right but malaysian will understand it and I AM A MALAYSIAN . I also thought - 'hey, whatever, I can spell better than you white lot on your own language'.
So, finger's crossed, I can keep this up in between my busy, hectic lifestyle.
I'll try to share what I am thinking (but mostly the contents of my brains are full of rubbish, veering off in different directions and various topics at the same time), what I am eating ( food is important to me) and what I am doing at the moment.
OK.... let's start.....with 2010....
That was a busy year for me.. I started off with a little hobby the year before and it spiralled out of control. I did one course after another (in the holistic/complimentary field) in 2010 as I couldn't get enough of it. I am happy with the achievements so far, what started as a hobby is now a little business with a small, steady stream of clientele.... I am now doing my Level 4 in Sports Massage, hopefully I will get through it and continue into my Level 5 this year. It is such hard work- I've got to do events and my last one will be tommorow morning in the freezing cold again- giving millions of pre and post event massage out to participants of a 10K run!!!
I also started working in a GP practice in January 2010 which I am quite surprised that despite a little bump here and there, I am quite contented there. The staffs has been good to me so far and I am surprised I have achieved quite a lot since I started. I wasn't keen at first but now....I have a steady stream of patients that comes and see me....or rings for various stuff. I am still not keen on the triage bit but that was the main reason for the job- to do the triage bit. Thank god, it's mostly only 2 hours in the afternoon but i do help out in the mornings when it is busy and I am in between patients.
I love knitting and crocheting and FOOD of course. I set myself goals for knitting and crocheting stuff as Christmas presents but since I was so busy with work, trying to fit clients in. I am ashamed to say that there has only been 1 recipient of crocheted shawl for Xmas 2010. I still have a tail, fins and eyes to complete a gold fish for Chloe, a half crocheted necklaces full of flowers for Su Yin and a half crocheted lacy shawl for my sister and a little crocheted monkey for Sophie... Well, I did say that my thoughts are all scattered, the results are scattered projects.
Ian and Uncle Rex has paid for me to attend 2 knitting workshops in January and Febuary this year- one is for a knitted journal and the other is to learn how to knit socks... so now my aim is everyone will be getting socks for christmas 2011... after all I have a lot of unused yarns so don't get upset if you get mismatched coloured socks this year.
Food is constantly on my mind. I got to bed at night with food on my thought- what i am going to ear tommorow, what have I got in the fridge to cook, etc etc. I dream of food and sometimes I also dream of the smell of food that I can't get over here but at the hawker's stall in Malaysia. SO I think my blog will be full of pictures of food as was on my FB profile! Last night, I cooked a pot of chicken curry, i've not had any yet but its' almost gone. The hunk has been enjoying them too much. so tonight I thought I will cook something that the Hunk is not keen on- Char Bee Hoon. And since i found some Yam bean in Manchester the other day, I am thinking it's time for homemade spring rolls. Yam Bean is quite a rare find here, especially in Derby. So, I've been to the Chinky shop in derby and bough some tofu... now, I have to chop all various veg up and cook the filling for my spring rolls.
Right, I am getting hungry so I am off to cook.....
I am getting a bit bored in the land of facebook now but I am still keeping it on as it's a good way for me to keep in touch with my family and friends back in Malaysia.
Maybe when I started with the blog last year, the 'hunk' tried to correct my grammar and said he was only trying to help and that really put me off. I merely gave him a disgusted look a few times and commented that my grammar may not be right but malaysian will understand it and I AM A MALAYSIAN . I also thought - 'hey, whatever, I can spell better than you white lot on your own language'.
So, finger's crossed, I can keep this up in between my busy, hectic lifestyle.
I'll try to share what I am thinking (but mostly the contents of my brains are full of rubbish, veering off in different directions and various topics at the same time), what I am eating ( food is important to me) and what I am doing at the moment.
OK.... let's start.....with 2010....
That was a busy year for me.. I started off with a little hobby the year before and it spiralled out of control. I did one course after another (in the holistic/complimentary field) in 2010 as I couldn't get enough of it. I am happy with the achievements so far, what started as a hobby is now a little business with a small, steady stream of clientele.... I am now doing my Level 4 in Sports Massage, hopefully I will get through it and continue into my Level 5 this year. It is such hard work- I've got to do events and my last one will be tommorow morning in the freezing cold again- giving millions of pre and post event massage out to participants of a 10K run!!!
I also started working in a GP practice in January 2010 which I am quite surprised that despite a little bump here and there, I am quite contented there. The staffs has been good to me so far and I am surprised I have achieved quite a lot since I started. I wasn't keen at first but now....I have a steady stream of patients that comes and see me....or rings for various stuff. I am still not keen on the triage bit but that was the main reason for the job- to do the triage bit. Thank god, it's mostly only 2 hours in the afternoon but i do help out in the mornings when it is busy and I am in between patients.
I love knitting and crocheting and FOOD of course. I set myself goals for knitting and crocheting stuff as Christmas presents but since I was so busy with work, trying to fit clients in. I am ashamed to say that there has only been 1 recipient of crocheted shawl for Xmas 2010. I still have a tail, fins and eyes to complete a gold fish for Chloe, a half crocheted necklaces full of flowers for Su Yin and a half crocheted lacy shawl for my sister and a little crocheted monkey for Sophie... Well, I did say that my thoughts are all scattered, the results are scattered projects.
Ian and Uncle Rex has paid for me to attend 2 knitting workshops in January and Febuary this year- one is for a knitted journal and the other is to learn how to knit socks... so now my aim is everyone will be getting socks for christmas 2011... after all I have a lot of unused yarns so don't get upset if you get mismatched coloured socks this year.
Food is constantly on my mind. I got to bed at night with food on my thought- what i am going to ear tommorow, what have I got in the fridge to cook, etc etc. I dream of food and sometimes I also dream of the smell of food that I can't get over here but at the hawker's stall in Malaysia. SO I think my blog will be full of pictures of food as was on my FB profile! Last night, I cooked a pot of chicken curry, i've not had any yet but its' almost gone. The hunk has been enjoying them too much. so tonight I thought I will cook something that the Hunk is not keen on- Char Bee Hoon. And since i found some Yam bean in Manchester the other day, I am thinking it's time for homemade spring rolls. Yam Bean is quite a rare find here, especially in Derby. So, I've been to the Chinky shop in derby and bough some tofu... now, I have to chop all various veg up and cook the filling for my spring rolls.
Right, I am getting hungry so I am off to cook.....
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